Idle Thoughts in ‘I Have No Explanation for my Absence’ Shocker

After a long year spent in deep anthropological conversation with those beings known as ‘Midlanders’, Idle Thoughts has finally resurfaced, ready once again to provide that cutting edge commentary that the world would perhaps be better off without.

Rather than regale readers with lies about what fresh hells I’ve been through since last posting, a quick round-up of what’s changed in the world since our last meeting seems in order. Look around you and there is evidence everywhere of the coming apocalypse. In a reprise of 1930s Germany a right-wing government has risen to power in the backdrop of economic collapse due to the malfunction of a dubious electoral system. Chelsea have won the league. Nothing else has happened.

Thankfully as news comes pouring into our lives Idle Thoughts will be here like a gentle Grandma to guide you through – cold, phlegmy, and rather bitter – but always there, withholding pocket money until given a kiss, inviting you to sit on her lap while she speaks of the glorious days gone by and interjecting into conversations when not invited.

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